Few things are so universally difficult as ending a long-term relationship. Whether you’re blindsided by a betrayal, racked with guilt over your own mistakes, or relieved after years of mutual misery and fighting, the process of splitting up is one of the toughest things you’re likely to go through. You’re probably not going to make the best choice every step of the way, but by seeking advice from others, you can often bring some measure of grace to your breakup and come out better for it on the other side of your breakup.
- Doing Right by the Kids: Yes, research shows that kids take it hard when their parents break up. Nevertheless, staying in a bad marriage can be worse than a constructive divorce. The golden rule is to be diligent and creative in demonstrating to your kids that A) You still love them, and B) It’s not their fault. Still, there’s a difference between knowing the right thing and doing the right thing. Fundamentally good people can be overconfident that they won’t use their kids to punish their ex. Walk things back when you need to, and trust that you’ll be a happier, calmer parent in the long run.
- Assets and Liabilities: It may seem like you just want to get this over with, but it’s also true that breakups which start amicably can turn ugly quickly if you try to negotiate assets and liabilities when your emotions are still very raw. At the same time, there may be financial consequences to putting this task off indefinitely. One of the most common challenges is deciding what to do with the house when there’s still a sizable mortgage involved. Regardless, try to strike a balance between the financial and personal timing of divvying up the assets and liabilities.
- Keep the Faith when Your Favorite Couple Calls it Quits: Brangelina. TomKat. Bennifer. Zanessa. Whether or not your favorite couple has a portmanteau, it can shake your own faith in love when a couple who seemed rock-solid announces they’re splitting up. Even if you find yourself going through the stages of grief over someone else’s breakup, try to keep perspective. There are still a ton of success stories out there. These examples are a good reminder, too, for the newly single person who, in the aftermath of a bad breakup, can’t imagine ever finding someone new.
- Going Public with the News: Speaking of celebrity couples, you don’t have to be famous for there to be a very public component to your breakup. There’s a fine-line between confiding in a friend and being vindictive in waging a PR campaign against your ex. It takes discipline to listen to and support a friend without succumbing to gossip. Friends and family members take sides and reveal biases in spite of their own best intentions. Meanwhile, social media creates its own public dimension for managing a breakup.
- Look to the Future and Positive Outcomes: As tough as it is now, many people really do report that they’re better off for having ended a relationship. The heartache may threaten to completely overwhelm you, and it may indeed be impossible to feel good in the short-term. So look to a future time in which you imagine yourself having overcome the present misery. (Women in particular face unique challenges and opportunities to thrive in the aftermath of a breakup.)
How Closetbox can do its Part
Look to marshal all available resources when going through a breakup. To this point, storage may have a role to play in providing a temporary holding area for certain belongings while you search for a more permanent living situation.